Centerstage - Chicago's Original City Guide

Articles Sections >> Arts + Words Bars + Clubs Dating Festivals Fitness Food Lifestyle Music Theater Travel + Tourism Who's Who > View All

This is no ordinary beauty pageant.

Saturday May 05, 2001.     By Joseph Bowen

Black Orchid Room at Piper's Alley, 230 W. North Ave.
Tickets:
Open Run

Beauty pageants may not be popular with most people, but Bill Russell and Frank Kelly's Olivier Award-winning Pageant, playing in an open run in Piper's Alley's astonishingly appropriate Black Orchid room, is no ordinary beauty pageant.

Granted, it's a one-joke show (one of the oldest), but it's a good joke. Six men play the female contestants in the Miss Glamouresse pageant, all hoping to represent the fictional cosmetic company for the next year. The hopefuls are Miss Deep South (Kevin Barthel), Miss Bible Belt (Sean Blake), Miss Industrial Northeast (Scott Alan Jones), Miss Great Plains (Dustin M. Lewis), Miss Texas (Stephen Stockley) and Miss West Coast (Miles Western). The pageant is MC'd by Frankie Cavalier (Kurt Sage). The contestants compete in categories such as evening gown, swimsuit, talent and "Beauty Crisis Counseling." Each contestant also gets to do a spokesmodel spot, introducing a new Glamouresse product. These new beauty products include hairspray with ozone repair, "smooth as marble facial spackle" and solar rollers, giving each of the six actors a chance to flex their comic muscles.

The comic highlights of the evening, however, are the talent presentations: Miss Deep South's ventriloquist act, Miss Industrial Northeast's accordian playing while roller skating, Miss Great Plains' "dramatic recitation of her own composition," Miss Bible Belt's gospel number, Miss Texas' over-the-top tap number and Miss West Coast's interpretive dance are all very funny.

What makes Pageant work is the fact that the actors play it all very seriously, and it's possible at times forget that they are men, until you catch a glimpse of the chest hair - there clearly has been no attempt to hide it. All of the musical numbers have been choreographed to comic perfection by Warren Carlyle. The silly book scenes that bridge the competitions are beautifully delivered by Kurt Sage, who plays Frankie Cavalier as the always smiling, always earnest host.

Pageant is hilariously directed by Bill Russell, and the costuming, by Greg Barnes, is perfectly tacky. All the actors all give outstanding performances, especially Kevin Barthel as the very Southern Miss Deep South, who looks a bit like Glenn Close, Stephen Stockley as the attitude-laden Miss Texas, and the very funny Miles Western (who received London's Olivier award for his performance), plays Miss West Coast appropriately ditzy. Mr. Western's spokesmodel spot, for the feminine deodorant bracelet and headband, is probably the funniest moment of the evening.

Also, a different winner is selected every night. Five members of the audience rate the contestants and the winner gets to parade down the runway to bathe in her glory. Pageant is well worth the trip.